Matthew Fairfax

Matthew Fairfax is one of the main characters in the Loser Squad.

History
Matthew was born on June 6 in the UK. He moved to the US when he was eleven. His nose is as large as his personality.

His parents were Cthulu fans and have no idea what Arkansas is.

Matthew plays instruments like bass and drums and Starr's booty. He started liking music when he was in the womb.

Personality and Traits
Matthew is an arsonist, like some people, and tries to take cats for walks. (Robert Smith does not like walks but Robert Smith does not have a choice.) Sorry ladies he's taken. Matthew thinks everyone is stupid. If you try to tie his shoelaces he will kick you in the face. He hates his job at McDondles and constantly tries to get fired.

Matthew likes to stroke his own nose.

Relationships
He is in possible lesibins with Starr Klaxon. They are BFFs and sometimes they huggle. They talk about how much they hate each other and then watch Hannibal. They also jam a lot.

Matthew and Becky sometimes party. Becky is jelly of Matthew's hair and Matthew is jelly of Becky's bra size. They both have brown hair and nice butts so they get along p good

Matthew hates Matt but Matt can't understand why.

Matthew finds Sajid a crusty butthole.

Skyler is obsessed with Matthew. One time Matthew jumped out a window to escape her.

Matthew has tried to befriend Robert Smith the Lovecat who scratches him.